Stayin’ alive

A kidney dialysis/transplant diary

One day at a time

Good advice and truly the only way to live, when you think about it.

All you can really handle is the present, worry as we might about the future. Hear me saying that? Hear me trying to believe that? You’re right I am. It’s easier to say than to believe, or perhaps not believe and live “as if.”

Borrowing trouble, it’s called, I know and if I could quit doing that and have faith that things will work out, I’d probably be sleeping better. Anyone have any ideas on how to do that?

Meanwhile, back at the therapy sessions: I walked a total of about 70 feet Thursday and the physical therapist and I tried the commode over the stool in the bathroom and did a couple of approaches with the walker and prosthetic. 

I know I’m getting stronger and I know things will get easier, but as is my constant refrain of late, I’m antsy to get on with it. I’m wanting to regain some of my independence and take some of the burden from my mom.

Mom has been an amazing help. There aren’t many nearing the age of 90 who would or could take on the assistance I need. One thing is sure, our evening good nights are even more tender than they once were. I do so appreciate her help. Who would think that she’d once again be wiping her baby’s bottom when the baby is nearly 62 years old.

She’s a great cheerleader,too, encouraging my progress and helping to keep my spirits up when they begin to flag. She’ll brook no talk of giving up and I usually agree with her. I also know I’m sometimes my most harsh critic and tend to beat myself up mentally for what I consider less than my best effort.

The therapists tell me they are impressed with my motivation. I wish they could categorize that and show it to me because there are times I question my motivation, times I wonder how I’m going to keep going, keep pushing and analyze the results.

Again, it’s that one day at a time thing. It feels more like I’m just trying to make it through the day and I guess that’s what many or most are doing, too.

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October 25, 2008 - Posted by | diabetes, dialysis, fistula, health, kidney, renal diet, renal recipes, transplant, weight loss

1 Comment »

  1. What kind words you have to say about your mom. I can only hope one day my child has such nice things to say about me!

    The effort to live in the present rather than dwelling in the past or present is worthwhile, but hard. I find the Buddhists seem to provide the most help in this area. I liked the book Buddhism Without Beliefs.

    Comment by Heather | October 27, 2008 | Reply


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