Stayin’ alive

A kidney dialysis/transplant diary

Anxiety

I woke this morning with test anxiety. You know, you’re expected to perform and you just know it’s all going to hell in a handbasket while you stand by – or sit, in my case – and watch things deteriorate or see yourself saying “but I did it just fine yesterday.”

I think it’s the realization that I really do go home Tuesday and that I have to keep proving I can actually do things for myself and won’t be spending my time lolling in bed reading Hollywood gossip magazines.

It also comes of two months of being out of control over my own life, right down to whether or not I have dangling privileges (am I allowed to sit at the side of my bed with my leg (s) dangling over the side?

Ordering from the food menu is a spot of control in a hospital, but when you’re diabetic, you even lose that control pretty much because the choices offered are so limited.

All that will change Tuesday when I head for home. Am I ready? I think so. I hope so. But I’m still a bit anxious over it all.

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September 26, 2008 - Posted by | diabetes, dialysis, fistula, health, kidney, renal diet, renal recipes, transplant, weight loss, weightloss

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